Dec. 16
To those of you who are also experiencing grief this Christmas and find it hard to feel joyous, please let the words of this prayer be of help and comfort to you.
"Lord God, out of your love you chose to dwell among us and remind us we are created in your image, by giving your Son Jesus to the world . You invite us to become part of your divine life and follow your ways. You know the grief we feel, and you know it is hard for us to feel peace and joy. As gifts were offered to the infant Jesus, we give back to you, with thanksgiving, who and what we have lost. Give us hope for the day when you will wipe away every tear, and in this holy season, when heaven touches earth, we ask you to send us your healing spirit." Amen
Dec. 2
Thank you all for the continued prayers and thoughts that bring strength to this family every day. In the words of a dear brother, "they are coveted". God supplies strength through prayer and supplication.
This link connects to the Guestbook entries through the Rocky Mount Telegram newspaper website:
http://www.legacy.com/RockyMountTelegram/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=98334865
From Berrie on Nov. 24:
"Owen and I have been so blessed to have so many friends that expressed their deep concern for our loss and to the numerous people that were with us during the long fight with the cancer, please continue to pray for my children and myself. The out pouring of support financially and spiritually has been overwhelming. I will never forget each and every one of you who have helped us through this difficult time. Love, Berrie, Owen III, Olivia and Bethany"
Nov. 24 He and Berrie and their family had a fantastic time at the Hunting Club last Saturday. It was absolutely terrific seeing so many friends and clan members (Smith and Joyner clans!) The food was incredible—as my friend from home says, “It’s amazing what you can do with a dead pig.” All the great side dishes and burgers and dogs and desserts and drinks were enjoyed by every single person --- at least the ones who were able to get in the food line early enough. Many, many thanks to the folks who made it possible---Bob, Bryan, Jeff, Donnie and several other unknowns who added to the success of the get-together! Owen’s sisters Karen, Carolyn and Susan also want to thank you ALL for the overwhelming acts of giving and friendship that were so evident at that event… and every pretty much other day. And hail to The Refried Beans, aka Winston Lea and Fred Frohbose, who provided some mighty fine singin’, pickin’ & harmonica blowin’. Yeh, Love, you too! Next to having Owen and Berrie there, that was the icing on the evening. “Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.” ~~~Albert Schweitzer
Thank you all, family and friends, for being there in person or in spirit. Owen's service was a beautiful and perfectly fitting tribute to his life. Thank you Pastors Israel and Rachel Campbell and the staff at Wheeler and Woodlief.
This website will continue for a few more months, maybe longer. We will still post messages sent on the Message Board. I would like to keep up the connection to his memory by sharing feelings and memories with each other.
God, continue to hold Berrie, Owen, Olivia and Bethany in your protective arms. Keep them aware that you have gladly received Owen in your kingdom, and that you both are with them every minute of every day.
Nov. 20
After many days and weeks of an admirable struggle, Owen quietly passed away at home yesterday morning, Monday, November 19 about 10 a.m. A hole was created but a weight was immediately lifted from his shoulders and he began to fly. His fight was over but he did not lose. He has won more that any man or woman could possibly acquire in this earthly life. His family thanks each and every one of you for just being there to read this, and to have followed their fight so closely and sensitively. Owen will be missed by so many, but his unforgettable smile and strength of character will stick around for a long, long time.
Arrangements are:
Visitation
Tuesday evening, Nov. 20 from 7-8:30 at Wheeler and Woodlief Funeral Home in Rocky Mount, NC. Funeral services will be Wednesday, Nov. 21 at 2:00 at New Beginnings Church in Wilson, NC, graveside service at Rocky Mount Memorial Park. The family asks that contributions be made to Pancreatic Cancer Research in lieu of flowers. (More info coming on various research organizations.)
Nov. 9
At the last update, Owen and Berrie were hoping to go to Duke for him to have the procedure done to help relieve the stomach bloating, but it did not appear that it was indicated at that time according to the ultrasound. So some medications were changed and he is still pain-free most of the time, but has a tough time getting comfortable other times.
Owen is plugging along, working on satisfying that uniquely discriminating palette he has…and Berrie, myself and the kids are real happy when we hit the jackpot…! These days Owen doesn’t have a good appetite---so whatever he wants, he gets ;-) as well as massages, manicures, heated bath towels and pretty much you name it. He and Trixie are the ruling royalty around the house these days.
Oct. 24
Owen and Berrie came back from Topsail Beach last Monday (snuck in an extra day!) They really enjoyed their time there, but Owen is still quite uncomfortable from the stomach bloating and having some various, mostly "dull", pains that are off and on. They went to Duke last Wednesday, and after an ultrasound was done, the conclusion from the doctors was that there did not appear to be enough fluid to do the procedure at that time. So he's hanging in there still, tolerating and trying to EAT MORE---and get some exercise. We're still waiting to get an appointment with the acupuncture MD. Hoping that can happen soon.
Berrie keeps on going--she's the Energizer Bunny with rechargable batteries. She is surely an angel to this family, and her strength, patience and character are absolutely astonishing.
This past weekend we were all thrilled to be able to get together in Raleigh to see our Uncle Shawn in a play at the Raleigh Little Theatre. It was great having Carolyn and her husband Larry, and 2 children, Ann Karen, Susan and cousin Terry, and of course Owen, Berrie and their kids---all together. Enjoyed the play and the barbeque afterwards...good day...good hugs.
Owen and his whole family are excited about the upcoming "Get-Together" on Nov. 3 -- see the "Events" section.
Owen specifically asked me to put this on the Message Board:
~~that since it is hard to respond to everybody that sends a message, either through the website or just in thought, he wants each and every one of you to know how much he appreciates your thoughts and prayers. He wants you to know that they are helpful and that he knows that they are the biggest factor in getting through each day.
Oct 14
Owen and Berrie have been having some good beach-time this week at Topsail. It's so wonderful there that it's almost impossible to leave! They are so fortunate to have this opportunity. Thank you to those very special people who made it possible.
Owen is still having trouble with the stomach distension and some "breakthrough" pain even after the nerve block, which causes a lot of discomfort and difficulty sleeping This coming week will probably include a GI procedure, (the which was done originally a couple of weeks ago) to relieve the abdominal bloating. There is a prospective acupuncturist, which may be another focus this week to ease the reliance on pharmaceuticals.
If you've had an experience with acupuncture, or would recommend one in the area, please let us know.
Hangin' in there! Keep on smiling....and being thankful----every day.
Sept. 24
Owen is still pain-free from the nerve block done on 9/13! This is wonderful--the procedure is lasting and he can move on to taking care of other things...Though it seems that each week—a new challenge presents itself! The tightness and bloating in Owen’s stomach became so uncomfortable, that this too was affecting his sleep and appetite. So last Thursday, the 20th, he and Berrie once again went to Duke/Raleigh for an appointment. It was determined that the bloating was from fluid accumulation, much of which they drained from his abdominal cavity. They didn’t have an explanation as to “why” the bloating had occurred. This procedure did give Owen some relief, but not really complete. He is trying other things to help with the bloating, and will be in touch with Dr. Gonzalez to perhaps shed some light on this and suggest other options. Owen has not been able to strictly adhere to the Gonzalez regimen in the past couple of weeks, so this could possibly be causing the bloating. He went to work last Friday for a few hours, and was glad to be back! They still keep forging on, doing what needs to be done.
This past Friday, our sister Carolyn happened to see an interview with Kris Carr, 31 year old award-winning actress, photographer and writer, and Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez on Fox Network’s “The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet”. Kris was diagnosed 5 years ago with Stage IV inoperable vascular cancer of the liver and lungs. She has an absolutely incredible attitude about her cancer and cancer in general. Her philosophy and drive are amazing, and we thought it would be a good thing to share:
From her book: "Everything (out there about cancer) was geared toward either kids or people much older than me, and most of it was either really sappy or really depressing…. This is crap, I decided. Cancer needed a makeover, and I was just the gal to do it! It's important to poke fun at it, use humor and speak openly. So if I can stir the pot a bit, perhaps I can remove the darkness.”
“I think for me the main misconception is that in the world of cancer the outcome is either cure or death and there is nowhere in between. I am an example of someone who lives with cancer, manages it and still has a perfectly normal dynamic life. Cancer has opened me up to the best life possible. It hasn't been a gift but it has been an extreme catalyst for personal revolution and I am grateful for it. Truth be told, we are all saddled with something. Adversity is universal. But what you do with it determines the quality of your life.”
[Here is the link if you’d like to see this interview. The video is called “Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips”]
http://www.mandjshow.com/videos/cancer-survival-tips/
This makes me realize that it is not a bad thing to add some humor and liveliness to this “fight”! Even during the hardest of times, we need to laugh, and that, in my opinion, is critical to survival.
So, how about submitting a good joke or funny story, dedicated to putting a smile on Owen and Berrie, and anyone who visits this site--!? Submit yours through the message board email, and we’ll see how many endorphins can be generated!
Here’s my contribution---
“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.”
Gerald R. Ford
Sept. 17
Sept 13
Owen and Berrie got home this afternoon around 1:00 and he is doing well. He has some soreness from the procedure, which in his words was "no big deal" and that it was normal, but that the pain was not like before. They both were resting this afternoon, as it was not a typically "great" night's sleep last night. But he sounded good, still only about half way back from his trip to la-la land, but it was clear that he was glad to be back home! We got a good laugh from the fact that they "kicked him out" this morning ---thankfully-- and that he was ready to 'put the boxing gloves back on' and get back in the ring.
I regret that it has not been emphasized how much Berrie has been 'the angel' to Owen and to our entire family. She has been by his side through every single minute, hour, and day of this challenge over the last six months. She tirelessly, without complaint, continues to do everything in her power to do what needs to be done, and to be with Owen and push him on when he may not feel up to the "push" himself. She is a wonderful example of strength, determination and committment in this deal. Her energy is unbelievable. As she continues to work at Nash General, she also carries on at home with grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing (mucho) laundry, and taking care of the many details involved with Owen's regimen. Please know, Berrie, how very, very much you are appreciated and how special you are to Owen, your children, and so many other people. We love you and are grateful for you. God bless you every minute of every day. Owen, you have a jewel there, her strength of spirit flows to you, and along with your will to live, makes you both stronger. Thank God for Berrie.
Sept. 12
Owen and Berrie arrived at Duke/Raleigh this around 9:30 this morning and he had the surgical procedure (a celiac nerve block that is intended to have permanent effects of eliminating pain) around 12 noon. He was out of recovery by about 3:00 and in a regular room, with Berrie right by his side. The procedure went well, and as Berrie described he was still "in la-la land" at 6:00 this evening as they were trying to watch Andy of Mayberry--! He was still pain free at 6:00 p.m. Hopefully he will sleep through the night, continue to be pain-free, and be released Thursday morning. Then things can get back on track ...that's the purpose of this! ---That the track will be cleared of the obstacles, the Gonzalez treatment can resume, and the trip to NM can be arranged...The fight will not stop...the efforts are sincere, valid and strong...and NO ONE's giving up!
Sept. 11
The past couple of weeks have been tough for Owen in that he has had an increase in pain that isn’t being relieved by medication. So after a consultation last Friday (9/7) at Duke/Raleigh’s Pain Management Clinic, he was set to have a celiac nerve block done yesterday, Monday, 9/10. This is supposed to deaden the sensory nerves around the pancreas, abdomen and back. This was done as an outpatient procedure and would only be a temporary fix. If the procedure worked he was to go back for a more permanent procedure. After the procedure, he was pain free. But last night he started hurting again, though the celiac block was suppose to last 24 hours or up to 7 days. Owen and Berrie thought that the pain he had last night might have been from the 2 large injections in his lumbar spine yesterday, which were extremely painful. But the pain continued today, and after calling the doctors at Duke, they scheduled him for Wednesday (9/12) to return to Duke for the permanent (surgical) procedure anyway. He will be admitted and stay hopefully just one night at Duke/Raleigh hospital. This procedure is supposed to work great for pancreatic cancer patients.
Berrie asks if you will “please keep them in your prayers. Owen has never stayed in a hospital before and he doesn’t like that idea too well.” She will be staying with him overnight there.
The bad part is that pain can influence so many things…sleep, attitude, appetite, and ability to take the pills on the Gonzalez regimen, and the worst is that Owen has to endure it. The good part is that we hope that the procedure tomorrow will bring permanent relief of his pain, and create a “turnaround” in his ability to get back to the treatments --- and back in the fight! We are all still very hopeful about a trip to New Mexico with Dr. Berkson, but in order to be eligible for his treatment there, he cannot be taking any narcotics. So this will be a good thing, for him to be off the narcotics---so they can get started on the Berkson therapy ASAP. (see Alternative Treatments section)
And—after blood tests were done on Friday, the preliminary results AGAIN showed an improvement in liver function levels! Way to go, bro! ---SOMEthing’s happening right! – and we’re going to build on that.
Owen is trekking on, continuing with the Gonzalez Regimen. Some days are good and some are notso good, but he is trying to go to work almost every day (being close to home, he is able to take time to rest or re-energize, thanks to the wonderful people at Hines). He and Berrie have had some great summer weekends of boating, camping, fishing, and hunting with the kids and friends, he cuts the grass, walks the dog with Berrie, washes the cars, and enjoys life! In early August, they were blessed with a week’s vacation with their kids and Berrie’s sister and her family at Disneyworld in Florida!
Physically and mentally he is experiencing many changes and effects---tiredness, loss of weight, difficulty sleeping at times, pain in his back and gastric area …which are normal in this situation. He gets pretty fatigued often, has dull stomach and back pains, and trouble sleeping often. But spiritually, as we all wake up every day and thank God for it, he and Berrie are trying to “keep on keepin’ on” --- with all they’ve got! He’s working on gaining back some of that weight, trying to get a handle on how best to deal with the pain, and is hoping to go to the Integrative Medical Center of New Mexico, for treatment from Dr. Burton Berkson. He would be there for 2 weeks to get started, then return home to have weekly treatments. Dr. Gonzalez and Dr. Berkson both have stated that they believe their protocols will be complimentary in their actions to fight this cancer. (More on Dr.'s Gonzalez and Berkson in the “Alternative Treatment” section.)
July
On July 1, Owen’s test results showed a significant increase (not good) of his CA 19-9, “subjective enlargement” of the tumor on the pancreas (which was previously about 3 cm.), and an additional lesion on the liver. Time to get on the battlefield! (During July he was not on any treatment.)
On July 11, Owen started the Gonzalez Regimen full force. It involves “cycles” of 20-days taking the supplements, then 5 days “off”, during that time he does one of 3 detoxification routines that alternate with each cycle. To say that this is a difficult routine to follow doesn’t begin to come close…but --- what is life, if not difficult? Life is worth the difficulty, and that is the one thing he and Berrie are most committed to – Life. If you read the section on the Gonzalez Regimen, you will understand why this decision was made and why we all feel that it is the best of any treatments available today for treating pancreatic cancer.
On July 26, 2007, Owen and Berrie had an appointment with Dr. Taylor at Duke after he had experienced an increase in pain in his abdomen an back over the past couple of weeks.She said that this was likely due to increased size of the tumors causing pressure on surrounding nerves—and felt that this suspected rapid growth was characteristic of pancreatic cancer. (An interesting comment from a nurse about the pain was that "it could be caused by the killing of the cancer cells". But this time, blood tests results indicated that liver function levels were “significantly better” than the previous blood test. Also his CA-19-9 levels were lower than that previous blood test (remember lower #'s here means “responding to treatment”).The CT scan note from the radiologist said “the previously described pancreatic mass, however, appears quite similar in size"— no change, but unable to differentiate the boundaries near the stomach.Though there was “mild” growth of the lesions on the liver, the RATE of growth in the past month was NOT as great as the month before that when he was between treatments. And he had only been on the Gonzalez Regimen for 2 ½ weeks!
June
Back in May, Owen and Berrie had been to NYC to explore the protocol of Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez’ treatment for pancreatic cancer. A metabolic evaluation was conducted, by testing a sample of Owen’s hair! --- (which gives more long-term, accurate and comprehensive analyses than a blood test) to determine which vitamin/mineral/herbal supplements would be prescribed.
The regimen of Dr. Gonzalez is an alternative protocol developed over many years of education, study, practice and results. The referral to him came from Dr. Sharda Sharma in Milburn, NJ through a friend of Owen’s sister at work.
Preparing to go on the GonzalezRegimen was like revamping one’s life, dropping many of the “old” ways of doing things ~~ and learning how to live a life that promotes the body’s ability to able to heal ~~ then adding the “weapons” it needs to fight whatever is making it sick. To try and put it in a nutshell, Berrie and Owen embarked on a journey of healing, trust and faith. They learned that each of these 3 goals of this journey involved spiritual, physical and psychological changes. They had to make a commitment, and did just that.
Among the “preparations” were: ordering a good “juicer”, since raw fresh vegetables and fruits are a huge part of his diet; ordering and installing a Reverse Osmosis Water Purification System (even bottled water is not “pure enough”); calculating the daily doses and schedule of taking the natural supplements of vitamins, minerals, herbal supplements, and pancreatic enzymes (the real “weapons” for fighting the cancer)….a 20-day supply at 191 a day, comes to….(how’s your math?) 3,800-ish; and seeking out the best places to buy organic food, not to mention come up with good recipes! Owen’s diet is basically a ”vegetarian metabolic” one: no red meat or chicken, no white refined grains (bread, flour, pasta, rice) or sugar, no soy or cow’s milk or cheese, no fried foods, soda, alcohol, canned foods, lots of fruits and vegetables, especially carrots—raw more often than not, nuts, whole grains, eggs and fish---and, but the fact is that this is the way we should probably all be nourishing our bodies! – and they’re becoming more and more used to it.
April 20 – June 1, 2007
During the 7 weeks of chemotherapy at Duke, Owen and Berrie were treated by the “best”, and made friendships with so many caring and sensitive professionals. The chemo included a mix of gemcitabine once a week IV, and the drug tarceva once a day by pill. He was always pre-medicated with an anti-nausea drug before the treatments, which kept the side effect of nausea at bay. Tarceva is a very potent drug, which affected Owen’s complexion by causing a severe breaking out on his face and chest. Once the chemo ended, his complexion began clearing up and continues to improve.
On June 1, at the end of the 7 weeks of chemotherapy, results of the blood tests showed a significantly lowered “CA 19-9” (cancer growth indicator), meaning he had responded to the treatment. The CT scan however showed an no significant growth of the lesion on the pancreas, but did show one additional lesion on the liver (now there were 2), and due to this, Dr. Taylor at Duke did not recommend any further chemo. She mentioned that there may be a clinical trial that Owen may be eligible for, but he and Berrie wanted to start attacking the cancer with something more than a trial.
